Not my usual fare, but at least it’s something.

I don't know what he's wearing. Does it matter? Does that thing actually wrap around?

I know. A chick on the dickblog? But she has teh pretteh.

*no words*

At this point, I must ask. Do all guys shift to the same direction? Is there some cock orientation manifesto our there?

And you can thank the ladies and (5!) men of The Lemonade Stand FB group for this update. Cock on the brain and all.

So many dicks, so little time. NSFW at all.

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes I just don’t have words.  Or maybe it’s just that they’re not necessary?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Because really, what can you say? I mean, besides trim that shit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your ass is hovering over the “poke” button and that is definitely sending a message.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. This cock performs double duty, fixing your electronics prior to the fucking?

2. Please do not pop me with the head of your cock.

3. Dude, why are you sitting in the fucking closet?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When utilizing props to gauge the size of your cock, please ensure the item has some kind of universally acknowledged size. Like a penny. A quarter pounder with cheese. A can of peas.

Oh.my.god.

I want to marry this chick. Or at least fuck her. You, wow, just….LOOK.

http://fuckmaker.tumblr.com/archive

Oh.my.

And NO, not the furry fucker, the chick who authors the blog and makes the GIFs.

All my single ladies, this is what we’re working with.

CLEAN YOUR MIRROR BEFORE TAKING YOUR GOD AWFUL PROFILE PIC.

That is one shiny, pudgy little sack. To the left, to the left… Oh wait, that’s to the right. My bad.

Oh, eatsumpus is to the left. Honey, puss = kitty between my legs. Pus = stuff that comes out of an infected wound. HUGE difference.

Now I don’t know for sure, because I haven’t see a live dick in, wow, a *really* long time. This cock though? It looks older than 18.

Boys…why NOT pull your pants all the way down? I don’t get it. You look like your going to piss on me. Not sexy.

This one though…

He may or may not be my newest friend. I know. I KNOW! That’s totally a stealth peen pic, and that’s so not my usual thing, but I have a tattooed, seemingly well hung dude to get out of my head…

Confidence

Really, this profile speaks for itself. It’s rare that one single profile can inspire so much…I don’t know what to call it.

Well, “it” is called porpoise peen. See if you can spot the reason.

Tiled.Outdoor.Naked.Fin.

Why bother with the shirt? Was it chilly?

I have no words. For once in my life.

*crickets*

I believe I can flyyyy, I believe I can touch the skyyy…

I wonder does he fuck with the shirt on?

We don’t have to take our clothes off to have a good time, oh no…

Plz to lick feet finger?

So yeah, this is me. Well, actually, though I get asked ALL THE TIME, those are not ACTUALLY my feet. My feet are cute, but I have no one to tie me up like that lol. This guy, he just wants to lick them? Also, really? HI LIKE TO CHAT?

A veritable buffet of members for you.

Did your mother not teach you

that it’s not polite to point?

Of  course, there seems to be a trend of pointing, or maybe these are divining rods/cocks? Dual purpose members?

Also? Ew. If you’re going to take a top view pic? Leave your blurry nasty assed feet and apparently cum stained floor out of it.

This guy is just passing through, don’t mind him.

Erm. Hm.

Is “extra fun” supposed to address his wife’s panties?

I know. I know what you’re thinking. The answer is no, there is no end to the cockery on teh internetz.

Our PC wireless keyboard is about 4 inches “long”. js.

Conversely, I have a central vac installed in my home. js. Thank goodness he’s not only thick, but good. Because you need a ton of talent with that thing.

So yeah. I’m back, slowly but surely. Sue will be my whipping girl, making me update at least weekly. Thank you Sue for the whippings and dick-smacks carried out over the weekend to get me moving on this very, very important piece of social commentary.

See you soon h00rs.

A lie keeps growing and growing til it’s as plain as the

dick in your pants?

Oh dear.

Long time, no dick.

Never fear though, I’ve been collecting. Now that I’m back in the saddle, the dicks shall promenade like never before.

Srsly. That looks like James Carville, plus moobs.

Peek a boo

So after weeks of no update, I checked in to my dickblog material sources to find a theme. That theme, of course, was “peek-a-boo”.  Dozens of stealth peen shots in my box. Disappointing. However, I’ve chosen a few random gems to hopefully entertain you, and get myself back into the cockblogging groove.

I know. Really. You don’t have to comment Nita, the picture says it all. Mmhmmm. Until you see that his tongue likes oral. Really? I would have thought your tongue would have a massive issue with the whole oral thing. o.0

Yes. I agree, it’s all about perspective. I appreciate the brain power used in setting this  photo up, but honestly, you look like that kid who either won or almost won American Idol against the other guy. Mmhmmm. lol

Random stealth peen. I have officially looked at so many pictures of dick that I’m unaffected by this.

Lastly.

I mean as long as your SIGNIFICANT OTHER doesn’t mind you whoring yourself out on FaceBook, fine. But really. WHY put up a couple pic unless you’re actively and almost obsessively looking for a threesome?